We celebrated what we call “the birthdays” last night.  Since three of the members of our little circle of close friends have February birthdays, a few years ago, we started the practice of a joint celebration. Our ability to do this has been helped by the fact that, post young kids and careers, we seem to be settling on the Cape like homing pigeons returning to the nest.

I’ve been thinking recently about shared experiences being the core of long lasting friendship. Even more than that are shared memories. The bonds in this group were forged in dorm rooms at BC and summer houses on the Cape. And in addition to that, for Joan and me, there were the creaky floors and leaky pipes of 212 Pleasant St. We didn’t just do things together; we lived through things together.

The stuffers from Joe’s at the Sandwich Marina were more than an appetizer. They were a springboard to shared memories of digging quahogs and making stuffers back at the cottage. The memories have translated into a vow to do it again this summer.

We know one another’s idiosyncrasies and take every opportunity to make fun of them. It’s like a marriage of long duration. You don’t really see wrinkles and thinning hair. And it has nothing to do with the fact that your eyes don’t work as well as they once did! You see a composite of years of living together.

When we look at one another in this group, we still see ourselves not only as we are today. but as we once were. And that’s a good thing!